{"id":195,"date":"2019-05-23T21:10:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-23T21:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/?p=195"},"modified":"2019-05-30T17:10:55","modified_gmt":"2019-05-30T17:10:55","slug":"always-the-correct-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"Always the Correct Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Always The Correct Answer<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Third row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven from the front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dullest teacher this side of parent\u2019s lectures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sleeping is your main objective this class period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You deserve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gym class.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Found your tennis shoe floating face down in the toilet!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stomp-sloshing to class.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The teacher won\u2019t notice the puddles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some have learned the skill of sleeping eyes-open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You, however, have your books situated strategically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dreaming<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About to save the world from an avocado something-or-other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was that your name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jumping up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Losing your balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The circus has come to town.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re the main clown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The general trick after all the commotion \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to mention the snickering-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is to regain some composure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan you repeat the question?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I don\u2019t understand the question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good answers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Except in extreme cases <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where the teacher asked,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat animal wears a cowbell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou mean me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, invariably this happens <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it really was someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahh, but you are wiser than your teachers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The best response is an intellectual jumble of words<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That never make sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, boy, do they sound good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Standing tall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shoulders thrown back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eyeglasses balanced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Note: if no eyeglasses, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Borrow someone elses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re asleep<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And don\u2019t need them anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reply:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn due response of the heretofore query thus presented, I\ncan veritably state that the lower left cerebrum is incapable of collaborating\nwith the maxilla and mandible, thus disabling the vocal chords to respond with\nan optimistic rhetoric upon this subject.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deep breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Question answered sufficiently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teacher is proud to have such a smart,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Articulate student in the class.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hard to swallow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They know you\u2019re bluffing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026and feeling a delicacy in articulating the nebular\nhypothesis of the truth, I find difficulty in prevaricating the\nnonverisimlitudinarianistic equatorial dissertation thus exasperated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Big word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teacher asks,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat does all that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sleepily reply,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know and I ain\u2019t gonna lie about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you\u2019ll be exactly right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Always The Correct Answer Third row. Seven from the front. Dullest teacher this side of parent\u2019s lectures. Sleeping is your main objective this class period. You deserve it. Gym class. Found your tennis shoe floating face down in the toilet! Stomp-sloshing to class. The teacher won\u2019t notice the puddles. Some have learned the skill of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[13,24],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":205,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions\/205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jonhopkins.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}