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Always The Correct Answer

Third row.

Seven from the front.

Dullest teacher this side of parent’s lectures.

Sleeping is your main objective this class period.

You deserve it.

Gym class.

Found your tennis shoe floating face down in the toilet!

Stomp-sloshing to class.

The teacher won’t notice the puddles.

Some have learned the skill of sleeping eyes-open.

You, however, have your books situated strategically.

Dreaming

About to save the world from an avocado something-or-other.

Was that your name?

Jumping up.

Losing your balance.

The circus has come to town.

You’re the main clown.

The general trick after all the commotion –

Not to mention the snickering-

Is to regain some composure.

“Can you repeat the question?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.”

Good answers

Except in extreme cases

Where the teacher asked,

“What animal wears a cowbell?”

You counter.

“You mean me?”

But, invariably this happens

When it really was someone else.

Ahh, but you are wiser than your teachers.

The best response is an intellectual jumble of words

That never make sense.

But, boy, do they sound good.

Standing tall.

Shoulders thrown back.

Eyeglasses balanced.

Note: if no eyeglasses,

Borrow someone elses.

They’re asleep

And don’t need them anyway.

Reply:

“In due response of the heretofore query thus presented, I can veritably state that the lower left cerebrum is incapable of collaborating with the maxilla and mandible, thus disabling the vocal chords to respond with an optimistic rhetoric upon this subject.”

Deep breath.

Question answered sufficiently.

Teacher is proud to have such a smart,

Articulate student in the class.

Hard to swallow.

They know you’re bluffing.

Continue.

“…and feeling a delicacy in articulating the nebular hypothesis of the truth, I find difficulty in prevaricating the nonverisimlitudinarianistic equatorial dissertation thus exasperated.”

Big word.

Teacher asks,

“What does all that mean?”

Sleepily reply,

“I don’t know and I ain’t gonna lie about it.”

And you’ll be exactly right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: humor Poetry

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